| MARY | Hey, Martha, have you read the latest issue of Christian Magazine?
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| MARTHA | The one with the test to find your spiritual gifts?
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| MARY | Yeah - did you take it?
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| MARTHA | I looked at it. But I didn’t take the test. I already know what my spiritual gifts are.
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| MARY | You do?
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| MARTHA | Yes. (starts reading the bible)
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| MARY | Oh.
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| MARTHA | (says nothing and keeps reading the bible)
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| MARY | Well, aren’t you going to ask me what my spiritual gifts are?
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| MARTHA | Huh? Oh, I’m sorry. I’m a little preoccupied. A lady in the hospital asked me a question about the Bible and I wasn’t sure how to answer. What was the question again?
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| MARY | My spiritual gifts.
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| MARTHA | Oh, yes. So, what are your spiritual gifts?
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| MARY | Actually, according to the test, I have THREE spiritual gifts. I have the gift of teaching, and the gift of helping and the gift of lateral thinking.
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| MARTHA | Three gifts! That’s nice.
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| MARY | I thought you’d be interested.
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| MARTHA | So, what church groups are you in?
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| MARY | Groups?
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| MARTHA | Yes. You know, serving others in the church? What church groups are you in?
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| MARY | I thought we were talking about my spiritual gifts.
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| MARTHA | You’re kidding, right?
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| MARY | No. I don’t see the connection.
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| MARTHA | Don’t tell me that with all those gifts you’re not in any Church groups?
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| MARY | No. So what?
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| MARTHA | So, let me get this right. You have a gift for teaching, but you’re not in the Sunday school?
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| MARY | Well, no….
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| MARTHA | And you have a gift for helping people, but you’re not in the Care and Friendship or Community mission groups?
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| MARY | Well, no, but....
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| MARTHA | And you have a gift for lateral thinking but you’re not in Worship and Learning?
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| MARY | No! I don’t really have the time for those.
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| MARTHA | There are seven days and seven nights per week. Are you saying you don’t have even one night per week to use your gifts to serve the Lord?
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| MARY | No, you see what with bowling, tennis, letter writing, and adult education – I’m learning pottery by the way.
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| MARTHA | (turns to audience, bows head and closes eyes)
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| MARY | Was it something I said?
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| MARTHA | I’m praying.
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| MARY | Is that one of your gifts?
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| MARTHA | Just a moment, let me finish. (pauses, looks up) Thank you, Lord. Now, where were we?
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| MARY | Is praying one of your gifts?
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| MARTHA | Yes. I’m in the Prayer chain. I was praying that you could find some time in your busy life for God.
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| MARY | Thank you, that is considerate. What were you’re other gifts?
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| MARTHA | The gift of listening.
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| MARY | Good, that’ll come in handy. Try doing it now.
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| MARTHA | What do you mean?
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| MARY | There’s nothing wrong with being in different Church groups – they are very important - but I have a busy life and a very hectic social schedule which doesn’t leave much time for the various Church groups. But that doesn’t mean I don’t use my spiritual gifts.
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| MARTHA | No, you play bowls instead.
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| MARY | That’s right. Let me tell you about my week.
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| MARTHA | I’m all ears.
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| MARY | Well, Monday I go bowling. It’s just a group of girls, and it’s our way of sharing some good times together. Some of them have had a bit of a rough time, one way or another, and we bowl and talk, and it helps make life a little bit more bearable.
On Tuesday and Thursday’s I do pottery. I love it – it’s true. You start with a lump of clay and it becomes a vase. It reminds me of how we were formed from dust by the Lord’s hand. There’s a little boy who comes along – only about ten – and we were talking about it just the other day. He wanted to know about Adam and Eve. We had a nice chat. Actually, you know his mother – Brenda. She started coming to our church a month or so ago.
On Sunday, as I say, I sometimes have to catch up on my notes and letter writing. Did you read my letter in last week’s paper - about refugees?
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| MARTHA | No, I’m not really interested in Refugees.
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| MARY | Perhaps you should be. They don’t always print the letters, but sometimes they do. I also send letters of thanks to the volunteers at the hospital and the nursing homes.
On Saturday …
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| MARTHA | Alright, I get the picture. So you treat all these other people to your gifts, but ignore the Church. Don’t you think we deserve your gifts more than people who don’t even bother to go to church?
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| MARY | (says nothing)
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| MARTHA | I said don’t you think you should use your gifts on your fellow congregation?
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| MARY | What was the question that the lady in the hospital asked you – the one you were having trouble with?
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| MARTHA | What? Oh, that. Nothing really. She wanted to know why Jesus went to dinner with tax collectors, associated with outcasts and befriended a prostitute.
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| MARY | And do you know the answer?
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| MARTHA | Nope! Makes no sense to me.
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| MARY | Try praying about it.
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