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The Smell at the Front
THE TARIFFIC CHRISTMAS
Sherlock Holmes and the Missing God
The Music
Jesus, Gotama and the Santa Claus
Jesus and Women
Coffee Morning
Invitation to Dinner
Mates!
The Missionary
About these Stories
Holly THE TARIFFIC CHRISTMAS
A story of two children who understood Christmas far better than any adult ever did.
GETTING READY FOR CHRISTMAS

Danny and Kylie were brother and sister, and let’s get the bad news out of the way first. They argued quite a lot. What one had, the other wanted. But this wasn’t too bad, because they both loved each other very much, and they loved their parents – Mum and Dad – too. So there wasn’t much bad news really. Except that Dad had just been made redundant due to the removal of tariffs and other trade protections in the textile industry. But the Prime Minister himself had said this was not a bad thing, so Danny and Kylie didn’t worry about it and figured that he would find a different job, perhaps in a Nuclear Power Station, or as a neuro-surgeon or something. So, all in all, things were pretty good.

Danny and Kylie were looking forward to Christmas, as they always did. Christmas was the best time of year, with turkey, pudding, chocolates and so on. Not forgetting Santa, presents, and of course, decorations. But they noticed, as Christmas got closer, that Mum wasn’t buying the usual assortment of chocolate coated nuts, chips and long brown stalky things. Mum said that money was tight that year (like the Government) and it wouldn’t be much of a Christmas. And they could forget presents. Danny and Kylie thought about this, and after arguing for several hours about the meaning of Christmas (Danny said presents and Kylie said Christmas pudding) they both agreed on the one thing that really seemed to make Christmas ‘Christmas’.

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Actually, it was the afternoon before Christmas, but the principle was the same. All through the house, not a creature was stirring, because Mum was having a lie down, on account of her ‘bad head’ and Dad had gone ‘to clear his head’ which usually meant he ended up with a sore one. Danny and Kylie were in the back yard, enjoying their Christmas.

They had a massive Christmas tree, with lights, decorations, and the most life-like nativity scene ever known. Of course, if an adult had poked their heads over the fence, they might have wondered what the children were doing, sitting round a large thorny weed, with bits of rock and dandelions and an occasional flower head stuck (carefully) on it. They might also have wondered about the old cardboard box containing two (empty) coke cans and a Pepsi bottle. But then, adults never were very observant. They were apt to miss the subtleties and nuances with which a child’s imagination can literally perform miracles.

CHRISTMAS MORNING

When they awoke on Christmas morning, they found a single plastic supermarket bag at the foot of their beds, each containing a single item. Danny’s contained an Electrokill Robot, while Kylie’s held a bright pink handbag. But if Danny and Kylie were disappointed by the down-sizing of their Santa Sacks, they certainly didn’t show it. And when the turkey (unmistakably chicken!) was served, they went wild with delight. Nor did the children appear to notice the complete lack of chocolate coated nuts, OR long brown stalky things. Later that Christmas afternoon, Mum and Dad were watching the children playing with their new presents (Danny with the handbag and Kylie with the robot) and they wondered how they could be so happy and satisfied, when Dad was out of work, and everyone had so little money, presents or food. And so, they asked them.

Danny looked at Kylie, and Kylie looked at Danny, and then, in unison, they both told their parents exactly what it was that really made Christmas ‘Christmas’.

Do you know what they said?

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